My only crime was loving and protecting a lunatic
I honestly wish I had known that she was truly crazy, just sick.
I had women lusting over me for miles
but I wanted more, a girl who read piles and piles.
I tried my best to impress her and though I admit I wasn’t that Charming prince,
I don’t deserve this label that I’ve had since!
Look at it from my perspective!
Her father came begging for help and I turned into a spectacular detective.
I sought her out in hope of winning her heart
ready to rip this beast apart!
How was I to know she’d fall in love with an animal
that’s unheard of, she may as well been a cannibal.
A girl in love with an overgrown buffalo, I could not believe
I thought she was in danger , I could not just leave.
And all this nonsense about locking up her father is just that.
He was so shaken that even when I asked him to come, he just sat
mumbling irratically, scared witless.
Goodness, had I know these lies would come to be, I’d have secured a witness.
So what started as a heroic journey
had ended with a villains misery.
The truth twisted into an absurd tale
who’d have thought I, Gaston, would fail?