Story of a Mistaken Hero

My only crime was loving and protecting a lunatic

I honestly wish I had known that she was truly crazy, just sick.

I had women lusting over me for miles

but I wanted more, a girl who read piles and piles.

I tried my best to impress her and though I admit I wasn’t that Charming prince,

I don’t deserve this label that I’ve had since!

Look at it from my perspective!

Her father came begging for help and I turned into a spectacular detective.

I sought her out in hope of winning her heart

ready to rip this beast apart!

How was I to know she’d fall in love with an animal

that’s unheard of, she may as well been a cannibal.

A girl in love with an overgrown  buffalo, I could not believe

I thought she was in danger , I could not just leave.

And all this nonsense about locking up her father is just that.

He was so shaken that even when I asked him to come, he just sat

mumbling irratically, scared witless.

Goodness, had I know these lies would come to be, I’d have secured a witness.

So what started as a heroic journey

had ended with a villains misery.

The truth twisted into an absurd tale

who’d have thought I, Gaston, would fail?

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